It was a short, beautiful trip we had with Our Miss Smith. She taught as to laugh, she taught us to cry, she taught us to mumble incoherently and shed unsightly pounds with fake diet pills. And she did it all with a cavalier disregard for class, dignity, and sophistication. Now she’s gone, and with her passing, she’s taken a little piece of all of us with her. She may have been a crass, goldbricking, drug-addled, swine-woman, but that was her glory. Who among us can say that we’ve never dreamed of following a path of pure, unbridled id, swallowing everything in our path, conning a rich old geezer into marrying us and mating with our lawyer? Ok, maybe that’s just me. The point is, Anna Nicole Smith chomped, chewed, swallowed and yakked up the American dream more times and in as many different ways as there are people in this country. By golly, she was the American Dream. So I say, fare thee well, Anna Nicole, this methadone/vodka/Ambien/TrimSpa cocktail is for you, Baby Girl! Bottoms up!

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