Rachael, retchel, raytard – oh you have so many names.
How I loathe thee. Seriously. Anthony Bourdain described you as “that cunt who can fit a pineapple in her mouth” and I’m inclined to agree. I’m not a professional chef, far from it, but I am a connoisseur of food television and have been for a very long time and what Ray does on her eight thousand shows is nothing more than visual pollution.

30 minutes meals? Maybe if you hate your family. “Here kids, I never wanted any of you so have some hot dogs in vegetable broth with fried plantains.” Ditto for her alcohol-fueled tours de farce across this great nation of ours as she samples the local liquor and undertips the hard-working service industry folks trying to scratch out a living. Fuck her, fuck her ugly as hell orange knives and fuck her retarded catch phrases.

Shove the yummo up your ass, ya alchy bitch, and if it won’t fit just use the evoo. And a big shout out to the best LiveJournal community on Earth.

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